Some would question my, whatever that may be, to serve as Manager of The International Montello Airport. Some have even taken it public by asking “Is This Man Management Material?”
Well, enough is enough! I assure you that I am in complete control of myself and all around me! So, to those around me at the International Montello Airport, who asked that ridiculous question, “I” ask of you! What are you? Are you your brain? Are you your body? Are you a combination of the two?
When most people use the word “I” they tend to mean it in reference to a whole person, made up of many different pieces. “I” usually refers to the personality, the body and the brain. That is deceiving though, because one could still be called “I” even after losing most of the above. And if we are made up of only our personality, body and brain, why is it that we can observe our own emotions, our own thoughts? What is doing the observing? Which brings me to the question, who are you to question me in the first place, don’t forget I AM the Manager!
I’d like to add that in closing I’d like to thank all the many wonderful people that have contributed to the International Montello Airport. Some have come as Guests, some as employees, some as curiosity and opportunity seekers, regardless the reason, it’s their individual presence that has added to the benefit of the International Montello Airport. I’d also like to add, that as Manager, it’s indeed my pleasure to have served as well as to continue to serve one and all!
Dear Mr. IAM Management
I realized that IAM statistics havn’t been updated in a while. Does that mean that nothing was happening, that IAm did not build up any values for predictions? Or is it just that all the activities are not “countable” in numbers. Whatever the reason, according to it’s own statistics, IAM does not look like a global player in the traffic hub community.
I am looking forward to recceiving an answer at your earliest convinience.
An investigated Airport Causality Representative
Hello Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms.- Airport Causality Representative
First of all, WHO ARE YOU?
No wonder your’re “An investigated Airport Causality Representative.”
I’ll address your questions as follows.
Does that mean that nothing was happening, that IAm did not build up any values for predictions?
IAM IS NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF PREDICTING VALUES. IAM IS IN THE BUSINESS OF FLYING PEOPLE TO THEIR DESIRED DESTINATION/S.
Whatever the reason, according to it’s own statistics, IAM does not look like a global player in the traffic hub community.
TO SOME SUCH AS YOURSELF IT MAY APPEAR THAT WAY. I ASSURE YOU VERY MUCH THAT IAM IS A LEADER IN THE GLOBAL COMMUNITY, AS WELL AS A PIONEER IN INNER-STELLAR TRANSPORT.
FURTHERMORE, UNTILL YOU IDENTIFY YOURSELF TO MY SATISFACTION, I WILL ANSWER NO MORE OF YOUR QUESTIONS!
GIVEN THE PRESENT STATE OF WORLD AFFAIRS, TERRORISM, ETC..., I MUST FOREMOST CONSIDER THE SECURITY OF THIS FACILITY, AND IT’S EMPLOYEES. IT IS BY MY DIRECTION, UNTILL FURTHER NOTICE, THAT IAM WILL NO LONGER PUBLISH STATISTICS DUE TO SECURITY MATTERS.
Dear Mister M.
I am very glad you returned safely from your Lunch Break and found the time to answer me. I agree,
IAM Security should be at least as tight as it’s managers belt.
I represent an air traffic controller at International Airport Montello. I work the day shift, where I often become very lonely, because I am asked to control uncontrolled airspace. Being in your position, you are probably familiar with these definitions: “Uncontrolled airspace is an aviation term to describe airspace where an Air Traffic Control (ATC) service is not deemed necessary.” Still, I am trying to get “it” under control.
“It” meaning - the plain in front of me. Or the plane. Also the plan.
[callsign] is cleared to [airport_destination] airport [route].
Fly runway heading, climb and maintain [altitude_new].
Departure frequency is [frequency_departure], squawk [squawk_new].
As you can see, I am missing the numbers - that’s why I wrote to you. At IAM the numbers are missing.
I can see a lot of arrows pointing in many directions, but I don’t see the numbers. Even my paycheck is a big Zero.
Where is the Manager? I Computer Ed or AKA Whooter. I have dined at “The Skylight Diner” 3 times. Visited Juans coffee shop 4 days in a row. Maintained equipment in the office. No sign of management. One day I attempted to call. But, only voice mail? At least when management does show up. They give me an award..ha ha ha...
— Ed 2006/05/03 22:27
Update: Since leaving the message above I have seen my Manager almost everyday now. I am much happier as he makes me smile...I make him smile because he is lauphing at me...I also realized we are always in contact telepathacally...after all he is hypnotherapist ya know....
— Ed 2006/05/11 11:49
Who wrote this sign? We found it behind one of the hangars.
Answer to the question will have to be put on hold. The Airport Manager is in San Diego California attenting a seminar. The manager is expected to return sometime about mid-week. If the answer to the question is pressing... Well, one might turn toward Security and pose the same question to that departnment. Maybe one of the dogs can sniff out the answer.
May, 23, 2006
Thanks a lot for the quick reply. For some reason the message on the sign seems to be more a matter of general airport management (the tone of adressing an issue, financial questions, hopes for development) than security. Therefore, even though pressing, the answer will be patiently awaited until the manager returns.
May, 30, 2006
Shouldn’t he be back by now????
June 5, 2006
First I’d like to say “Thank You” to all the wonderful employees we have here at the IAM. With the exception of some minor graffiti, everything ran smooth as silk while I was gone to my seminar in La Jolla, Ca.
There is a lot of exciting things planned for the future of IAM. This is however a sad time for me. Due to the increasing demands of my practice as a Doctor, I must regretfully submit my resignation effective immediately!
I am however eternally grateful to all of my fellow workers and friends here at IAM for the opportunity to have served as your Manager. As I depart, I do so knowing that the future growth of IAM is in good hands. If I had the opportunity I’d thank each one of you individually for the support and dedication you have given me as your leader during my short tenure here at IAM.
Also for those new employee’s just joining our wonderful team here at IAM, remember you are a part of something that some said could never be done. Please join with the others in continuing to prove to the world we are IAM.
For those whom you may encounter throughout our facility here at IAM who are afraid to fly, please send them to my new office located adjacent to the Airport Chapel. There I shall remove their fear of flying and send them onto their new HEALTHY HORIZONS!
You can learn more about myself and Healthy Horizons Hypnosis by visiting me at
Hope to see all of you real soon for a cup of Joe at Juan’s Coffee shop. Again, it’s been a real pleasure as well as an Honor to have served as your Manager here at IAM
Wishing you all Success in all you do!
Dr. Ron L. Abbott, Ph.D., D.C.H., D.D.
P.S. If you’d like to see the real me, not that look a like above (Who was that Guy? If anyone should see him again, send him to my office for a little Weight Management Counseling!), visit my website today and click on the link that says “Meet Dr. Ron”!
Dear Dr. Ron L. Abott,
we here in NYC are sad to hear about your resignation from management. You were a wonderful manager who did not interfere too much with the inner mechanisms of IAM, which in turn led to a very self organized group of Airport representatives. Looking back one could assume you anticipated your early withdrawl, but because of your longsightedness, International Airport Montello will remain fully functional until the position will be filled again. Looking foward to sipping some cups of coffee at Juan’s The IAM NYC representatives — 2006/06/05
September 5, 2006
First I’d like to say “Hello” to all the wonderful employees we have here at the IAM. I’d also like to congratulate each and everyone of you for doing a fine job since I left as Manager of IAM. I’m somewhat taken back that NYC hasn’t found a suitable replacement for me, as of yet. I did hear through the rumor mill, that NYC has had reservations about (having had accepted my resignation in the first place.)Rumor has it that “unofficially NYC accepted my resignation, but officially it has not!”
Perhaps that is why the “Special Courier” from IAM hasn’t shown up at one of my (3) offices in (2) states asking for the return of the Management Shirt, Belt, and of course the much coveted, Golden Airplane Necklace.
Upon hearing of the impending event and arrival of VIP’s on September 15 & 16 (unsure of the actual dates, awaiting clarification from NYC) I feel I must avail myself to NYC in a Management Capacity as an interim airport manager if requested to do so by them!
Since resigning from my management position to pursue my practice full-time, I have opened an office in Wendover, Utah, as well as one in Elko, Nevada, of course I still have my home office located down the tarmac from the main terminal of IAM, in Montello. Here’s a recent picture of where I’m located.
I must mention that in celebration of this impending event I’m offering my Stop Smoking Program for only $150.00 (normally $250.00 - a Whopping $100.00 Savings!) to anyone arriving from NYC, see AD below.
I feel I must be totally honest with you!
Things have been a little slow here in Montello. I’m hoping that this visit will produce a Client or two!
There is a lot of exciting things planned for the future of IAM. I look forward to the arrival of NYC in the coming weeks. And as I have done for my Country when called upon, I shall again do for IAM, if called upon!
As always, I am however eternally grateful to all of my former fellow employees and friends here at IAM for the opportunity to have served as your Manager.
For those unfortunate few whom you may encounter throughout our facility here at IAM who are afraid to fly, please send them to me. I shall remove their fear of flying and send them onto their destination of new HEALTHY HORIZONS!
You can learn more about myself and Healthy Horizons Hypnosis by visiting me at
Looking forward to seeing all of you again real soon for a cup of Joe at Juan’s Coffee shop.
Wishing You Peace and Success in All You Do!
Sometimes, reality is too complex for oral communication.
But legend embodies it in a form, which enables it to spread all over the world.
from Alphaville by J.L.Godard, 1965
Dear IAM Manager
You were honest, so I will be honest as well.
Most employees at IAM hire and fire themselves whenever they want. (see recent exception) In a way, it’s just fair this way, because passengers also arrive and depart whenever they get a chance to book a flight. It’s all about movement, transit and flexibility.
We just became Airport Ambassadors and - being in this position - it’s with great pleasure, excitement and relief that we would like communicate a warm HELLO and welcome you back - right in time after Labor Day - ready for another round of arriving and departing passengers.
There is a lot to manage at IAM, especially in the upcoming weeks - key day - Friday, Sept.15, 2006.
Passengers have high expectations - which we partially will fill with “waiting time” - for example at the Transit Lounge - which is located - where? - (community room, outside, on the sidewalk, at the airstrip?)
Kristin from the Bay Area will be on staff for the weekend - either with an infection that might spread (would you be able to handle this?) or as Bingo Caller - where could be the casino?
Many things need to be upgraded at IAM - do you have any special needs, suggestions, wishes? Things you want us to prepare, organize, think of?
We are super happy to work under your management again
Roger and Out
Airport Ambassador Franzy
September 8, 2006
Please join with me in congratulating our newest Airport Ambassadors. We here at IAM as a whole consider ourselves very fortunate to have you on the team. Some of you had already worked in various capacities with IAM before becoming Ambassadors. I hope to meet with each one of you in the days ahead.
As you can imagine things here at IAM are “hoppin & poppin!”
Everyone is working so hard for the arrival of our NYC VIP’s.
I’d like to thank Airport Ambassador Franzy, for that warm welcome upon the announcement of my return. You Airport Ambassador Franzy are a true Diplomat.
I don’t want to mislead anyone here at IAM, my return is only temporary. I shall only serve as the Interim Airport Facilities Manager during this upcoming event. And, only if asked to do so by the NYC Staff. Which as of yet has not happened. Either way I shall be in Montello during the event, and look forward to having a great time!
I encourage anyone seeking advancement within IAM, who may be qualified, to consider my former position as Manager. I will be on the look-out for my replacement!
I’m glad to see all is well with Computer Ed. As you may recall Computer Ed was chosen as our Employee of the Year last year. If anyone would like to nominate a co-worker for the award this year, please see one of our Ambassadors for further details.
I hope Kristin is feeling better, and I look forward to seeing her again this year. I know Computer Ed is excited also! Could this be the start of, I’ll leave that to them.
Perhaps someone could help me out here. I know most of the Airport Ambassadors, but who is this (Roger and Out?) Strange name! Speaking of strange I was driving by our UFO Terminal below
when all of a sudden this guy jumps in the back of my car and says
So I did!
Complete management is more than what happens between takeoff and touchdown. It requires an efficient and secure aviation infrastructure. It also requires a certain look - therefore the question is pressing: Is your shirt, the belt and a working phone available to represent the fact, that IAM is “manageable”?
We are very much looking forward to see you soon.
September 8, 2006
Regarding the question posed by Ambassador Franzy concerning the Manager’s daily attire I ask you “Is Yours?” I’m shocked by your question! Some of my finer personal attributes of success are “discipline, integrity, and honesty.” Which of those are you questioning?
As for the look, I admit my deficiency, I’ve included a recent photo of myself. I request your humble opinion, is the look appropriate?
As for your next question concerning a working phone, may I remind you as of yet our cellular phone tower has not been finished! I however have numerous working phone numbers. If you’re considering calling me, first be advised “I screen all calls” I return the ones “I” deem important. But for you Ambassador Franzy, and you only, here is my secret international toll free phone number
1-866-201-0751 toll free
Of course my office phone for my practice will be available to anyone from NYC or Kristen.
Ambassador Franzy, please don’t overly concern yourself with the details on this end. With the fine support staff here in Montello, I assure you, you have nothing to fear here!
As for the shirt, the belt, and the coveted “IAM Golden Airplane Necklace,” they all remain hanging in a cellophane bag, ready to be pressed into service at any time! Or picked-up by the “IAM Special Courier” from NYC, whichever comes first.
I as well look forward to visiting with you and your entourage shortly.
Some say Napolean Hill was a visionary, in that he penned into existance IAM in his following quotation “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve!” So here we are!
I just returned from Germany and would like to take the opportunity to thank you for your extraordinary work during the recent layover. I am aware of the fact, that my note comes at a moment, when you might already have left the IAM office, and turned to other matters that need to be taken care of.
You always emphasized that you are the interim Manager of IAM. According to the dictionary this means, 1. serving as a temporary measure until something more complete and permanent can be established 2. serving temporarily until a permanent replacement can be elected or appointed.
To me, these definitions are another proof of your foresight of being the manager at IAM. It confirms the idea, that it might be only the “interim position” that is capable to serve a metastability of the brain, that is required to understand how IAM works. The temporary approach underlines the fact, that IAM can never be complete, permanent or established. IAM does not need security in form of buildings, accurate flight schedules, x-ray machines or permanent representatives and daily passengers. IAM also works if there is no activity at all for long stretches of time, when it is just “late”, laid off, latte and layover.
I think it is essential for IAM to be able to hover in wide and open terrain and that it is important to get lost for a while. That’s what I think I learned from you and Henry J., Jodi, Nevada Red, Darla, Miner John, Computer Ed, Marlene, Sarah, Eric, Ron Tello and everyone else in Montello (please pardon, if I forgot to mention someone…) and I just wanted to say Thanks for that – and the fun time – and the good food.
— eteam 2006/09/29 12:45
in case you are checking in from time to time...
How are we doing?
November 5, 2006
I’m not sure! How are you doing?
IAM Interim Manager
The time has come for an interim report. You kindly asked, how we are doing. Well, I am not sure either. Personally, I am in good moods, even though my right shoulder hurts from being attached to the computer mouse too much.
I spent October labeling some IAM surveillance tapes from the last 2 years, and writing the “happenings” according to their time code in a note book. We’ve currently got more than 30 hours of recorded action and non-action taking place on the wider IAM premises (another tape was produced today (Nov.16,2006) by Computer Ed: “The video is disappointing to me. There was a spot on the lens I didn’t know it. Oh well, it will at least be good for a lot of good pictures. I will send the tape after I get off work tomorrow. There is other stuff on it too. I am really not even sure what. I know there are birds and fishing.”).
When taking notes while watching the tapes, it takes about twice the time to go through the material. Accordingly, the note book was finished after 60 hours. It took about 40 pages to write the actions down – but there are still about 80 empty pages in the book. (Let’s hope, it stays this way - or else we get an intern.)
After the note book job was “finished”, two very talented composers were asked to do something about the IAM soundtrack.
Since IAM mainly is an outdoor operation (planes don’t take off and land in living rooms), 95 percent of the sound material we got on tape is: the wind blowing really hard. Do you know how it sounds when the desert currents are beating up the microphone without break or mercy? After 29 hours of that I was ready for some change – remember the Bee Gee’s: “More than an Airport, more than an airport to me!” It’s being recorded, as we speak.
Also, the tech department reports, that Hajoe bought a new computer and installed a 400GB (“almost half a terra bite”) hard drive on it. Then he sold the old computer to two guys (one who bought it, the other one came along as a safety back up), while Kristin and me were sitting on the sofa looking at a book by Tom Vanderbilt, who wrote the article about IAM in Modern Painters. After the guys left with the computer, we got another rash from the sudden cash,went out, bought two kinds of ice cream and talked about the infection. This was last week.
Since then, the surveillance material undergoes the daily process of being transferred to that (400GB) hard drive for further screening and editing – which is the fun part of the operation. I laugh a lot.
Close to be finished, are 20 minutes rearranged “versions” of what has happened at IAM. In addition there is a 10 minutes trailer which shows, that nothing has happened at all. We are working on increasing the latter number to keep things in balance and safe from becoming too spectacular. (It’s always been a big dream to make a really boring video which everyone is excited to watch.)
I forgot to mention, one thing. When I was looking at the surveillance footage I was sometimes very perplexed to see, that events had “developed’ very differently on tape, from how I had recorded them in my memory. For example the “strike” at IAM in August of 2005 was a big event. Hajoe, Mara and me are referring to thas summer, as “the summer, when the strike happened”. I bet you can imagine, that it was slightly incomprehensible that, when I watched it on tape (unedited), “the event” was not even 1 minute long. To be exact 55 seconds – which – on the other hands shows us, that IAM representatives are not as dissatisfied at all with their jobs at the airport, otherwise they would have striked longer, or what is your opinion on that?
But that seems to be a general thing. People are keeping IAM flying on all kinds of ends, with all kinds of means, for all kinds of reasons. First thing in the morning today… Computer Ed called NYC from the cell phone booth. He was excited, because the metal chair and the umbrella were still in place, and the valley was as beautiful as ever. The cell phone connection was very clear, the signal very strong. No wind disturbing the conversation.
Then Kristin(FTBA) called (from the Bay Area). She is preparing for her appointment with you (as Dr. Ron) in San Francisco. I think, we are all very fortunate that the IAM medical expertise is flexible and responsible enough to be stretched out into the Bay Area. A flying doctor from IAM. I am sure Kristin’s infection grew into something special again. I wish I could be there, look at the exhibition on her face, and see what kind of diagnosis (review) you apply to her outbreak. However this turns out, the rest of us will be effected/infected by it as well. Please keep us informed about the results. We might have to take precautions.
After Kristin called, Nevada Red from THAT place uploaded an amazing flight control animation see here, which Hajoe projected as a “transparent” layer on to the flight control tower window, behind which Mara operates a phone and a mobile computer (laptop strapped around her neck). Hajoe and me had a disagreement about the “transparent” layer he projected onto the window. How could he say, the transparent layer was projected right onto the glass? Since clear glass is transparent in itself, the “transparent projection” could have been anywhere…in front of the window on Mara’s face. Behind the window in the salt flats and the sky… but Hajoe insisted it was right on top of the glass, which means the disagreement is still pending.
Around 2:30pm, an update from the foreign correspondent was sent in. (Since we don’t know the exact location of the foreign correspondent’s presence, nor her/his name, we can not provide a local time from where the update was sent from – sorry.)
About 5 hours after that, we saw three members of the film crew in Manhattan. Jackie, the producer, had invited us to attend a screening of “9/12 - from chaos to Community”, at Cantor Film Center NYU, 36 East 8th Street in Manhattan. It’s a documentary about the 9/11 recovery effort she had co-produced. Alice, ,who is actually Alison (director) and Wolfgang (the camera man) were in the audience. Before the film started we flipped through the program brochure and in the last sentence of Jackie’s bio it was made public, that she is currently working on a feature documentary about a remote town in Nevada.
That’s all I have to report today. I should add, that I have a very good feeling about it all. As so often, when I think about International Airport Montello, the air becomes a little bit more special. Montello – the town that refused to die got an airport that could fly.